Some of these ads do not belong: German Shepard Lab Mix Puppy Needs a Home Hello thanks for viewing my post. We are looking for a nice home for our dog. He is very friendly and energetic unfortunately we don't have the time for him... We are expecting a baby soon and we feel it is best to find him a good happy home. If anyone is interested please text me. He is 2 and a half years old.. Doesn't bite and weighs around 52 lbs.   We are trying to find a new home for our puppy, she is a Mini Pinscher, light brown, 1 year old. She needs a lot of love and attention, she's very smart and playful. Great for kids.  Fiona is a 2 yr. old black lab mix that we adopted when she was a puppy. She is current with all of her shots and is spayed. She is very energetic, loves attention, and is good with kids. Fiona is an outside dog that has been trained with and utilizes an underground fencing system. We can no longer keep her as she loves to bark and gain attention of anyone outside, and is bothering the neighbors  Re-homing In the past, term "re-homing" was applied to the process of giving away a pet for another person to care for. Today the term can be applied to pets or children - particularly adopted children whose parents are no longer willing to care for them. Last year, Reuters released a five-part investigation into the re-homing of internationally adopted children. What they discovered was a secret world that few people were aware of. “… parents were transferring custody of their unwanted adopted children to strangers met on the Internet, often with no government oversight and sometimes illegally. No state or federal laws specifically prohibit the practice, which is known as ‘Re-homing.’ And state laws that restrict the advertising and custody transfers of children are often confusing, and rarely spell out criminal sanctions.” “In the absence of government safeguards, boys and girls have been placed in the care of abusers and others who escape scrutiny. In one case, a mother gave her nine-year-old adopted son to a pedophile in a motel parking lot in Wisconsin within hours of posting an advertisement for the child on a Yahoo group.” The state of Wisconsin responded to the investigation by passing a law to stop private custody transfers of children. Wisconsinites are now required to get permission from the Court before turning over custody of their children to non-relatives. The new law also makes it illegal for unlicensed people to advertise a child online (or in print). Several other states have followed Wisconsin's lead by passing similar legislation, and federal intervention is now being considered after a Senate subcommittee hearing in July. Why would someone re-home a child? The re-homing cases that I've been involved with have been extremely eye-opening. I've learned that the parents aren't evil monsters who lurk in the shadows and trade in human flesh. They are typically caring people who have good intentions. Many of them are moved by the estimated 132 million orphans* around the world whose parents are absent as a result of war, extreme poverty, or the unrelenting tide of the AIDS epidemic. They are also people who have spent thousands of dollars, and thousands of hours, in an effort to give a child a new life as a member of their family. In those cases, the decision to re-home their child(ren) could be summed up with two simple words: Unrealistic Expectations Adoptions are extremely emotional and good judgment can sometimes be impaired during the process. At the same time, some people adopt for the wrong reasons. These are some of the issues that those parents have struggled with:
The re-homed youth that I've worked with have indicated that being "thrown away" was the single worse event that has ever happened to them. Their feelings of betrayal and of being rejected have impacted them more than losing their biological families or experiencing abuse in their orphanages. Each of them have struggles with anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation. They also tend to isolate themselves from others in an attempt to avoid future rejection. This is especially damaging to those whose native culture rely on the interdependence of an extended family. They often feel as though they are alone in the world, even when surrounded by people who care about them. I often wonder if the adoptive parents of these young people understood that they were signing up for a long-term commitment. That the phrase "forever family" isn't just a sound bite - it's actually supposed to mean something. I also wonder if they understood that their responsibilities don't end simply because a child is acting out or they, as a parent, have become weary. More importantly, I wonder if they received adequate training before the adoption. I'm hoping that all prospective parents know that there are only two circumstances that would allow them to legally (not ethically) back out of their obligations to their child:
*UNICEF and its global partners define an orphan as a child who has lost one or both parents. Adoptive families are often surprised to learn that their newly adopted child has a living parent and/or extended family members. These cases are disturbing; however, let's not forget that there are amazing agencies out there that have successfully helped people expand their families through adoption. If you or someone you know are considering an international adoption, talk to people and find out who and where those agencies are. Referrals are priceless when it comes to this process.
By the way, if you're adopting because it's trendy or because Brangelina, Sandra Bullock, and Madonna look cool with kids of color ---- please contact me ASAP. Comments are closed.
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AuthorI'm a social worker, a foster parent, a mentor, and a writer. I enjoy working with young adults; particularly those who are navigating through life after foster care. Archives
December 2017
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